


Hot And Cold

by Savy_tries_to_be_a_writer



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, SnowBarry - Freeform, The Flash Fan Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-04-14 01:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4545735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savy_tries_to_be_a_writer/pseuds/Savy_tries_to_be_a_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caitlin thought she would stop patching Barry up, but Barry never learned to stop behaving like an untrained puppy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot And Cold

She thought she was going to  _stop_  patching up his injuries when they occurred because he was being a silly, over enthused, rash puppy. She thought he would learn and start taking his time instead of rushing in. Goodness, he was always late and tardy despite having superhuman speed, but did he make use of his tardiness in a way that made the weakness turn into a positive, and use the extra seconds his speed gave him to scope out his surroundings?  _No_ , she thought to herself with her lips set in a grim line,  _he does not_. The last time someone was so vehemently against taking her advice and learning from it was when Ronnie was still alive.

He, too, just couldn’t exercise caution when passion took hold of him. If it wasn’t for her subtle superiority in that area, they would have been buried in full-body casts a couple of times already. Or worse – she would have not become a geneticist, doctor and molecular biologist who knew about metahumans and the particle accelerator, and she would  _not_ be there right now to brace his fourth rip and sew up the wounds on his face. Always the same spot above his right eyebrow. He would never learn, she kept telling herself.

The moment she put the needle back in the kidney dish, the person on the hospital bed next to her groaned and stirred a little. She took off the surgical gloves with her cheeks smooth and taut, not a dimple to be found in them, which wasn’t generally a good sign.

“What happened?” the man asked, lifting a hand to his forehead only to have it slapped away inches from its intended destination. His eyes snapped open and his mouth formed the letters ‘ow’ expressively.

“What did you have to do that for?” he asked feisty. The moment he could focus enough to examine who smacked his hands away he regretted opening his mouth in the first place.

“Caitlin, don’t get mad,” he tried to plead with her, but he knew what was going to happen next. It had happened before.  _I never learn_ , a voice in his head whispered, and he bowed his head in defeat before the woman in front of him could even raise an eyebrow.

“I can explain, I promise.” He really  _did_ have a reason to ignore her, he thought he was fast enough, he thought the metahuman needed more time to recover, there were innocent people there, and he needed to get them out of there before the metahuman could get to them. All valid, but the relocation didn’t go as smooth as he’d hoped, and though eventually the civilians were safe, it wasn’t exactly because of him. And he got taken down in the process as well. It’s not like he didn’t  _deserve_  to sit through this lecture, it was more that he didn’t want it to come from  _her_. He’d done enough already this week to upset her. He tried to sit up but the needles in his arm held him back. That was new, he usually didn’t need those. Oh crap, what had he forgotten?

“You might want to sit back for another five to ten minutes, and don’t touch your face, the sutures need a little longer and I can’t have you scratching them out again. Your healing’s slowed down a little right now. Cisco almost mass produces those high-calorie bars for you, and yet you still manage to not eat enough of them to keep your abilities up to speed. And I’ve put you on fluids because water also seems trivial to you.” The man winced slightly as he inhaled, “oh, and one of your ribs broke while you crashed into the wall, so you might want to go easy on the breathing part, because that one  _will_ hurt.” Caitlin turned on her heels and tried to walk out the room. Cisco was sitting at his desk, frozen in place and listening intently to what was going on between her and the hurt man in the STAR-Labs sweater on the gurney.

“Caitlin, wait, just let me explain-“ he said to her back, hoping she would waltz back and give him a verbal beating. Anything over the silent treatment he feared to get. He got lucky.

“ _Yes_!” she exclaimed a little louder than necessary, stopping and turning around again, “please  _do_  explain why you thought it was safer to go with your own plans when I told you not to bring those people there. Please tell me why you thought it was ok to run 3 people from one mildly-dangerous place to a super-dangerous other one, while dealing with a metahuman who literally has the power to kill you, and instead of listening to us, who have more of an eye on things because we  _literally had a view on the entire block through hacked cameras_ , you did it your way? You got not only those innocent people into a dangerous situation, you made things more dangerous for yourself.” She walked back up to him, and if he had been able to retreat into the hospital bed or wall behind him, he would have.

“Tell me  _why_ you constantly have to put your life in danger when you could have the upper hand in situations! Because I’m really looking for an answer here, Barry, and I can’t find one other than you don’t have a reason to make sure you survive.” Caitlin halted by his bed, their hands almost touching on the mattress and if she was any less angry or any more confident about his feelings, she would have closed the gap between their fingers. Instead she used her hand to wipe away the onset of tears forming on the edges of both her eyes and returned to crossing her arms in front of her aching chest.

She had only herself to blame really. She had done it again, she had fallen for a man who put others’ well-being before his own so diligently. And if she was even more honest with herself, that was of course one of the many character traits the sunny, good-spirited superhuman in front of her portrayed that had made Caitlin fall for him. But she had lost someone like that before, and this time there would not be a Barry Allen to replace him. Ronnie had gone,  _really_ gone. He died the day of the explosion and was reborn as someone different, and though she still loved the old Ronnie in some way, he was gone and Caitlin had come to terms with that fact. Barry had fallen into her life and crept up into her heart in a way that made it easy for her to let Ronnie go. And although Barry loved Iris, and Caitlin had no other way but to accept that, she would be damned if anyone lost Barry the way she lost Ronnie. She would be damned before she lost another love of her life that same gruesome way.

Barry was looking at her face, looking for any sign that betrayed her heavy armour. Hearing her say these words not only made his chest hurt in a way that was unrelated to his cracked rib, but made him yearn to hold her close even more than normally.

 _Of course_ he had a reason to survive.  _Of course_  he didn’t want to die. Not yet. Not now. His hand moved towards Caitlin’s elbow but the catheters that stuck in it stopped him halfway. Frustrated, he closed his eyes, lips pressed together in a mix of sadness and resignation. Last time he told the person he loved how he really felt, he had lost his best friend. Granted, it was temporary and things got back to normal, but Barry couldn’t say it had not hurt him. Things between him and Iris were ok now, it was like it used to be – minus the feelings he had for her. He couldn’t pinpoint the moment he fell out of love with her, but maybe that was because he simply realized that the love he felt for Iris was always wishful thinking and clinging on to the last remnants of his life before his mother died, not actual romantic love. His feelings for her had evolved, or maybe devolved, to a sibling-like love. It actually made him happy nowadays to see Iris with Eddie. It gave him hope. Ideas.

Clunking his head back against the pillow he was propped up on, Barry let out a big sigh. “Look, Caitlin,” he started, before exhaling loudly again and lifting his head up to get a better look at her.

“I can’t tell you why I went in there without checking it out first. I don’t  _know_ why I keep doing stupid stuff like this, for lack of a better way of saying it: I’m a stupid hothead when I’m the Flash.” Barry actually got a soft smile out of Caitlin with that. In turn, she made him smile. “Come here,” he said quietly when his catheter held him back from stroking her arm for a second time, and Caitlin took a step closer to the hospital bed. Barry took the opportunity to caress her elbow. It was the only thing he could reach without pulling the needle out of the back of his hand. “I’m  _really sorry_ for making you worry. And that you needed to patch me up again when you said you wouldn’t keep on doing that. You’re right, you shouldn’t have to keep doing it. I apologize for constantly putting you in that position.” Caitlin sat down next to him on the bed now, opening her mouth to say something.

“But,” Barry cut her off quickly, “you’re wrong about one thing. I  _do_ have a reason to make sure I get out of these situations alive.” He took her hand then and rubbed his thumb over the back of it. “I am not leaving you here. Alone with Cisco and doctor Wells. One of them could accidentally kill you running tests on some unidentified weapon,” Caitlin chuckled at that and even Cisco laughed in the back room. “That was _one_ time!” he said loud enough for both of them to hear. “And the other one is horrifyingly incapable of making sure you laugh at least once a day.” The warmth Caitlin’s laugh emitted sped up Barry’s heartbeat a little, and he was sure there was a rush of blood to his cheeks and ears. But man, was it worth it.

“I’m not going anywhere, Caitlin.”

Caitlin nodded her head, a smile still on her lips that could compete against the beauty of a bouquet of her favourite flowers. “Just make sure that next time I have something left of you to patch up, ok?” She almost whispered. Barry nodded with a sad smile, and for a moment no one existed but the two of them. Then Cisco cleared his throat, and Caitlin remembered to take the needles out of Barry’s arm.

**Author's Note:**

> have a banter with me in the comment section or my tumblr.  
> I encourage criticism, notes and comments on my work!! Feel free!


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